the end

all along, I thought you were the only truth, turns out, you were the biggest farce of them all.

random conversations: yes. honestly? yes.

Y: [sms] "dil haare pukare tujhe..."

X: [calls] (smiles) main abhi yahi gaana sun rahi thi...

Y:(smiles) i love you..

X: i shouldn't be talking to you, hai na?

Y: honestly, yes.

X: should i put the phone down?

Y: yes.

.......................

random gets random-er!

[after 15 days of silence]

X: so NOW you call.

Y: yeah. thought of you.

X: kaise?

Y: was watching ALIENS vs PREDATORS.

X: =|

Y: good night! =)

X: =|

.......................................................

all in a day's work.

Y: I still love you, i can't just forget what i felt and move on. 


X: I think i should stop talking to you.  


[10mins later]

X: You are with someone else. Stay there.


[15mins later]


Y: Miss Rude.


X: Mr. Hypocrite. 


[5 mins later]


Y: I am your friend, will be there for you. Always.


[10 mins later]


Y: that freaking apple smirnoff makes me wanna puke.


X: try orange twist. much better.


.

Who's gonna drive you home tonight?

Who do you call when you have no one else to go to?

When you are looking, feeling like shit and need to cry your lungs out?

Who do you call when you want to get real?

You just know don’t you?

And yes he is there. Right there standing to hold you tight, so tight that it hurts when he holds, so that the hurt goes away.

 He is not someone you love; he is the person who is the witness.

The witness to your pitfalls, the witness to how you threw up when you got drunk, and the person who knows just how your nose gets all choked when you cry and who just knows how easy it is to make you smile when you your eyes burn with all the crying.

He is not someone you love.

He is someone who has been there always. Someone who has known you for real

He is with someone else. He is happy with her. You are not jealous.

 You tell him about all other men, he does not get jealous.

You don’t love him. But, he is the only place you go to when you have nowhere else to go to.

You don’t love him, but he is the only place you think of when you awake through the night and you can’t sleep and you want to.

He is not someone you love. But he is the only place you go to, the only place you remember to find when you are lost.

............................................

lost and found.

[after eons of silence]


Y :can i say something?

X :yes.

Y: don't loose ur friends because of  strangers' rejections.
    you'll be left with nothing

X: hmm...

Y:you cant turn back if you want to, neither go forward.
   i am concerned for you 'coz you have the tendency of hurting urself unnecessarily.
   but your ego wnt allow me closer, to try and help you at  least  let me listen to you...

X:I'm the hero of the story, don't need to be saved.

[silence]


[almost a day later]


Y: good to see u laughing.

X: there is no other option, is there?

Y: yes there is,ife gives u two fingers to choose.

X: it isn't enough.

Y: anyways I meant it when I said you look good when you laugh.

X: you also said I looked good when I was angry.

Y: you'll look gud to me even if you are drenched in shit and smell like a horse.
   anyways, you should go now.


[silence]

kill me but then let me die.

 i walked without fears under pouring skies, over drenched asphalt.

 i walked for her; i walked to her.

she met me halfway on the street.

she gave me an umbrella and took my hopes away.
she did my bed and took my sleep away.

do apologies ever suffice?

does time ever heal?

are decisions ever the right ones.

is she worth all this pain?


------/---\------

can nor cannot want you...

sms 1 [from Y to X]: "she hugged me yesterday and i dint feel a thing.."
sms 2 [from X to Y]: hmm.

does she look you in the eye and tell you how you feel?
does she know You are for real?
does she feel warm and secure in your embrace?
does she feel the fondness in your gaze?

or do you?

do you think of me when she looks at you knowingly?
am i around when the laughter rings clear?
am i there when the smile starts in your lips...am i at the coffee house?
am i there when  you look in her eyes...do you search for me in the mist of her eyes?

did you buy it...or found it lying around?

did you put in your pocket or  tucked somewhere in you....somewhere deep down?

am i lost or am i loosing you?

-----------------------------------

[i was suggested by someone that i write  a P.S. footer for better understanding of the posts..here goes]

P.S.: X and Y were in love. now they seem to be moving on, away from each other after a breakup. X informs Y of a new girl....

MY CRIME (?)

am i criminal if try and think for me for a change.
i do not want you . i do not love you. i do not love him either.

but am i a criminal if i care for myself.

but am i a criminal if i care for YOU, as well.

am i a criminal  if i say i care for you but cannot love you.
am i a criminal if i listen to you when you shriek and shout and call me names?
am i a bloody criminal when i say someone is perfect. am i insane?
am i a criminal if i for a change let go?
if i found a little happiness for me beyond you?

am i a criminal if i moved on?

aren't you so bloody selfish when you call me so??

why should i live with the guilt when you go fuck up your life?
why should i feel guilty if i was happy?
why should i not find happiness for myself?

aren't you responsible for yourself?
why am i supposed to take care of you?
did you ever take care of me?
why do you want me to pity you?

why do you loose your dignity in front of me?

why do i feel guilty every time i smile without you?

why do i still want to sit besides you?

why do i still smile with you?

i should die really.

P.S.: a situation when you want to be in a crossroad so that there is a third option left to go. instead of  a single road where you either go up or down, an option to just move sideways.

un-requited love

YOU stood on the cross-road,

honey kissed eyes.

you saw me walking towards you,
smiled.

looked at you, spat,

"what the hell now?"

i saw in your left hand,

a white polythene and a pair of cute pink socks.

like a flash that evening ran in front of my eyes.

i remembered,running out of change,not buying, sighing.

you remembered.

before i said another word, looked up,saw the silhouette walk away.

I gasped,
.............you,the pair of cute pink socks and me.

"He would not stay for me, and who can wonder?

He would not stay for me to stand and gaze. 

I shook his hand, and tore my heart in sunder,

And went with half my life about my ways."

YES and NO

after about 15days of silence between X and Y

[sms: time 00hrs 00 mins: from X to Y]
"i want to hug you, and sleep with my head on your shoulders"

[sms: time 3hrs 30mins from Y to X]
"i will sleep well tonight"

[sms: time 13hrs 30mins from Y to X]
"did you send the sms by mistake"

[sms: time 14hrs from X to  Y]
"NO"

 [sms: time 14hrs 30mins from X to  Y]
" Doesn't mean we're back"

[sms: time 15hrs from Y to X]
"have a smiling day beautiful"

boundless us...boundless me...

“Freedom is not worth having if it does not include the freedom to make mistakes.” -M.K.Gandhi

let's be wild.

let us get high.

half-walk, half-fall on un-named streets.

asking for directions to a place just because the name seems nice.

eating off the streets only because the vendor passed a smile.

buying stuff because the colours are bright.

are you hurt...I'd give you my shoulders to cry..

fuck the bitch and walk till the sorrow drains out.

 let us stare at every face that mocks us.

every glare rightfully, scathingly returned.
let us take the midnight bus because we do not want to go home tonight.

let us announce our arrival...

let us be the refugees who ruled the worlds.

let's be wild.