28 May 2017

The Introvert’s dilemma

You have changed houses , schools , cities towns villages and in time lost 'friends ' , 'almost friends ' (?) All of this done so many times so that the entire cycle of making friends and holding onto them tires you out.
So you stop trying at all . Nothing feels permanent as nothing is permanent. 
The cities you once called 'your own ' have now changed beyond recognition . 
What is home after all ? 

An amalgamation of all the small towns you grew up in? Your subconscious mind combines them all together to form one giant mega-city which is  an ever growing weed ridden farmland because you haven't settled any where yet; you haven't put in roots.

What is a home city ? 
A place where you have worked/are working in . A place where you may stay in as long as works keeps you and then you cut ties and are kicked out. 

Which is your home city ? A place where your parents live ? The place you called home once and you spent the better part of your  student life in? 

That was years ago now . You are not the same, the city is not the same; both of you grown up and grown apart.  No one knows your name there , the streets have turned into wide roads and the charm has given way for chaos . 

How sad it is to get lost in a city you once , less than a decade ago owned. Or did you?

What is home ? A place where you park yourself for a few years only to leave again , or that place where you go after leaving everything behind . Go for a fresh start go to get out of a rut. 

Where is home ? Is it where you are, or where your heart is ? 

Which is 'your ' city after-all ? Or all we are doing - rather all I am doing is passing through . 

It is true that that the city does not belong to you ; you belong to the city . If that is true who and where do you actually belong ? And does anyone really want you there ? 

Will anyone want you ?