26 Aug 2009

ECSTASY: A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before.

why do we tingle the touch-me-not?
stare at the sun..till we see violet blotches everywhere?
why do we wear brilliant whites..and then go to the dirtiest places and sulk when they are dirty?

why do we smile when we see a school going kid bend down and struggle with his laces?
and his water-bottle and his bag?
why does the sweet dairy milk sweeten the day when you have it for breakfast?

why do we sing a song and hop a step when the breeze is nice?
why does food remind you of mom?
and a hug and a pat of your brother?

the sky is brilliantly blue when your eyes are clear...
the smiles are infectious...(more than the swine flu)...
and the laughter harder...

life is always beautiful just get up on the right side of the bed :P

25 Aug 2009

“कभी ख़ुद पे, कभी हालत पर रोना आया...”

कहीं किसी क आंसूं बहते रहे...
उन्हें न सम्भाल पाए,
अपनी नाकामयाबी पर रोना आया..
कहीं और चल दी हम...
छोड़ आए कुछ बीच राह में,
अपनी खुदगर्जी पर रोना आया..

सारा जहाँ से प्यार बटोरते रहे...
ना बांटा न बटने दिया...
अपनी मतलबी चाहतों पर रोना आया...

इश्क किया शायद हमेशा ख़ुद से ज़्यादा...
किसी और की मोहब्बत को समझ न पाने की,
अपनी इस न-समझी पर रोना आया...

न दिखी तेरी लाचारी, न दिखी तेरी तकलीफ...
न दिखी मुझे तुझमे मेरी पर्ची,
अँधेरी नगरी में बस्ती अपनी हस्ती पर रोना आया...

“कभी ख़ुद पे, कभी हालत पर रोना आया...”

21 Aug 2009

the altruist narcissist

I am the fear of the stranger in a new country.
I am the essence of the dictator’s might.
I am the mist of the morning.
I am the silence of the night.
I am the demon inside you.
I am the righteousness of the soul.
I am the pure white space surrounding angels.
I am the putrid black inside of me.
I am the sparkle of the cut-diamond
I am the darkness of the deepest fissure.
I am the sullen child’s last try.
I am the hope in the bride’s eyes.
I am the warmth of the lover’s embrace.
I am the chill of the assassin’s last blow.
I am the bitter-sweet sarcasm of love.
I am the virgin’s first kiss.
I am the elusive enigma.
I am the mystery solved.
I am omnipotent, I am omnipresent.
I am lost, I am no-where.

In life I am.
Death I revel.
न सुबह हुई...
न कल की रात ढली.
आज भी कल में रहते हैं,
जीने की कोशिश में जैसे, साँसें गिनते रहते हैं.

कभी उखडी साँसें,
कभी मंद सी हो गईं.
आज मौसम बी कुछ मंद सा है,
जैसे दबी दबी सी साँसें मेरी...

तूफ़ान की तबाही और उसके बाद सन्नाटा,
ये चीखती खामोशी कैसी...

14 Aug 2009

........blah, blah and then some more blah................. Yeah and ‘I, ME and (a lot of) MY-SELF”

1...2....3....4.....5..... [elves ringing tune]......”dhan tana tana nana....kya aap nayi...” blah blah...beep...beep...aarrgghhh!!!

Ok how embarrassing it is to keep waiting for the phone to ring and it does not.
Not waiting for any particular phone calls just any other phone call, but no, the phone does not ring.
It just stays. Ok now you scan the contact list for someone to call...hmm...1.what to talk about...2.naah out of balance...std call...3...blah...blah...aaarrgghhh!!!!
What happens when you want to talk to somebody, just about anybody and you can’t? You have people around you but you instead have your earplugs on even if there is no music playing.

This is the blank, blunt, sometimes numbing phase succeeding that phase of your life when you have lived with the phone.
Slept talking on the phone and woke up not to the sound of the alarm bell but your phone vibrating because of an impending call.
I hated it so much so that my phone was on silent/off/offline mode all the time. And today I want that to happen sometimes at least. Yeah I do want that to happen. I check my phone the last dialed call was about timed to a time 20 hours ago. Sad life.

Sleepless nights spent thinking of a single moment...”ek lat suljhane me saari raat guzari hai”...yup that feeling...today the whole night is spent thinking of something to think about...some food for thought is it?? My thoughts are starving then...

I had a yearlong writer’s block [not that I am a writer or something]. I am writing again but then I lack inspiration, I am more indiscriminate, more random, it is good in a way, but I am becoming sillier, that is food for my humour maybe.
See, my writing lacks structure.
Yesterday I was five colours in a single day, unbelievable but true, I was pink in the morning, (both literally and physically), then I was yellow as soon as I reached office, laughed so hard that my back hurt (yeah it goes the other way round here), then I was black, mood to kill, like serious kill, then I turned neutral, beige (??), then I was white with little hints of blue, the shade got deeper after some time, and then till i slept i was pissed off enough to turn grey.....
....yeah the phone stays. It just bloody stays.

Okay why did i write this?
Why did i write the line above this line or this line??
Is it actually my inability to talk, maybe the writer’s(????) block was because of my never ending phone calls and my keeping shut for my own good. And the block has been taken off and the writing is flooded because i am just basically talking and like some wise ol’ lady said “talking isn’t necessarily conversing’.
So this is basically me conversing with myself.


...hmmm..."tanhai ne fursat di hai"

13 Aug 2009


1.The best way to get rid of a person, all of his/ her manifestations in your life is to get into a commitment/relationship with the person in question. Most of the times that turns the love part of it into work. As more than 90% of time it is just plain attraction.

2.The most adjustments are expected from the youngest in the group/ the least foul-mouthed in the group. And the wise don’t adjust they just find another (generally better) route to flow.

3.“loha lohe ko kaat ta hai”;
This line was brought into practical use and it passed the test (yup it works)
I managed to piss off Kalki baba by actually getting into minuter details. i pushed myself further to perfection. And he was aghast. :P

1 Aug 2009


Speak of life in a miniature scale.
Speak of life as an amalgamation of the various moments when one has been touched…speak of touch.
Life, they say, is not the measure of the number of breaths we take.
It is, rather, the moments which take our breaths away. Moments when we encounter those stray smiles, stolen kisses, chance contacts and coincidental meetings. The smile one gets from the furthest corner of the room, accompanied with a wink, when you are on the other extreme;
When you are the one without the smile; in a split second the widest grin is yours.
The drama is unseen by the ‘others’.

The chance bouts of alone-ness in a room packed with people, with an awareness of self and the surety with which magnanimous life decisions are taken.
The holy speech about life, unearthing profound truths delivered. All this unheard by everyone; but the applause… The applause is loud and clear.
The eyes of that stranger hold you and say a thousand words. The words unheard but the feeling stays on...like the wind unseen but the warmth felt.
Life is paradoxical most of the times.
The most noise is made by a guilty mind, in utter silence;
Its retreat and reclusion though, is in the maddening crowd.

Life is all about the unheard voices. It is all about the whispers and shrieks.

this was a very old post of mine. today when i was going through my own blog it made so much sense to me.like i had written it yesterday. couldn't help posting it again as a new one.for today.
a status tag on gtalk says.

"life is tough for people who dream."

i say isn't it so much easier because one dreams.
ask people who don't.
who can't..