29 Apr 2011


Wind blowing on my face, a song on my lips and hundreds and thousands of faces.

I stand at the edge of the gate, in that train that I take every day.  
I am nothing for those 18 odd minutes, I leave one half of the day behind to come back and live another half. It is my break. I don’t have to be anything; I don’t have to wear a mask. Amongst those hundreds and thousands of unknown faces, most which I might never see again, I lose my sense of being and at the same time am closest to me.
Half listening to the track playing on the background cutting out the chaos outside of me and inside me,I sense silence, blissful serene silence.
I am calm. 

For those 18 odd minutes I am zero.  
For those 18 odd minutes I am ALL.

25 Apr 2011

too many books, am reading you my favourite line...

 Older chests reveal themselves
Like a crack in a wall
Starting small, and grow in time
And we all seem to need the help
Of someone else
To mend that shelf
of too many books
Read me your favourite line

Papa went to other lands

And he found someone who understands
The ticking, and the western man's need to cry
He came back the other day, yeah you know
Some things in life may change
And some things
They stay the same

Like time, there's always time

On my mind
So pass me by, I'll be fine
Just give me time

Something on a positive note:


23 Apr 2011

random conversation: something beautiful.

"at the station, train in 5 minutes"

"happy journey! tell me when you see something beautiful"

"tune FB par se profile hata dia nahin to abhi bata deta...tu ruk ab."

"abhi wapas aati hun...."

"nahin rehne de...tab sirf main nahin, sab dekhenge"



What have I invested in? 

I have “friends” some who refuse to recognize me now, some who are too far, some who were too near and suffocated to a final demise…resurrecting as strangers.
There are fleeting instances of meeting people that still happens but with the years that have passed and the people that I have “met”, “known” ,surreal instances that I have shared, everything dropping down to a state of nothingness; I am almost saturated, leading now to point zero.
For now I know, KNOW, that nothing stays.
Strangers that turn into friends turn back to being strangers.
Family that turns into being friends turns back to being family again. 

A naive 23 year old couldn't but now i understand this other “friend’s” need to walk away into a self imposed, abysmal quiescence.  

But what do I have to walk away from?

22 Apr 2011

auva auva.

random lyrics from the song:

*sweep sweep sweep...sweep sweep sweep  *
*auva auva tumse hai tumse pyaar
auva auva tumse hai tumse pyaaa..aaa..aaa..aaa..aaar.*

LOVE the song! =D

random smiles =)

well, i did try captioning them. 
but i guess. i said almost all i had to when i set  the title.


and btw is it vanity if i spend a lot of time reading my own posts over and over?

20 Apr 2011

blowing away wish fairies...

kali sihai se likhi raat me ek chaand ka chandrabindu.
ek chauthai zindagi me likha ek sadi ka alpviram.

ek simti chadar me ek lipti main, unglion me gin rahi bhuli parchahiyan.
jaise saagar kinare thehri zameen dekhe doobta aasman.

17 Apr 2011

humming birds.

There was this someone not too long ago. 
There was not a day when we wouldn’t talk.
There was this someone not too long ago who would fight me and tell me that I was better than what I thought, There was this someone, who though didn’t know me in the literal sense of the term, knew me well.
There was this someone not too long ago with who i spoke in poetry.
There was this someone not too long ago who was enticed.
Now the mystery wanes, but, there was this someone not too long ago who had not yet solved the mystery.

11 Apr 2011

...i don't even have a picture of him...he exists now, only, in my memories.

7 Apr 2011

"Tonight I can write the saddest lines. I loved her, and sometimes she loved me too."

“Come here”, he said and pulled her close. 

Theirs had been a roller coaster ride. A ride which has had more than its fair share of downs; one whose designer has been too gracious and humble to defy gravity.  They had not spoken, written for ages. Like a wildfire something had erupted between them a long time ago.

She looked at him, looking for something, what? She wasn’t too sure. She had practiced things to say, things to do. She had planned to hit him,accuse him, chide him…

Nothing existed now. Like the remains of that burnt forest, some things reminded them of a seemingly happier wistfulness. There was nothing, not even nostalgia. 

She looked for lust, there was none… He seemed too pure, too fragile almost.
She looked for love, there was none… Hadn’t she lost that bet before, lost many a times over?

There had been fights over the acceptance. There had been fights over non-acceptance. There had been fights over reluctance and fights over the ensuing indifference. They fought in silence. Yes, there never was too much noise. 

She was weary of looking.
He gave her another tug and she held him.
She held him tight. 
She held him like there was no tomorrow and wept. 

“Come here”, he had said when he pulled her close. 


...Tonight I can write the saddest lines.
I loved her, and sometimes she loved me too.

Through nights like this one I held her in my arms.
I kissed her again and again under the endless sky...

-Pablo Neruda. 


3 Apr 2011

all has been said and done - 2

"I love her," Rice said. "I love her so much. And I love her so much that I love that she hasn't spoken to me -- because even in that I have learned so much over the last two years."

a choice.

Suddenly he reached out and pulled a half-burnt stick from the fire. He thrust it at me so that I flinched back.

“What are you doing?” I cried startled and angry. 

“Trying to show you something. The stick, it scared you. it may have even hurt you, if you hadn’t been so quick. But look-in trying to burn you, it’s consuming itself. That is what happens to a heart-“

-Chitra Banerjee Divakaruni


your  hold on your grammar is the measure of your hold on your morals;your hold on you.

i have now stopped editing my blog posts before posting them. they are irreparable. 

(not a general statement. not one bit)

oh btw, India won the world cup. =D cheers!