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Showing posts from November, 2011

premonition.

Go away.
Before I can even muster a whimper, go away. Before my sighs turn into sobs, go away. Go away before dusk settles into the imminent night when I would want you to sit next to me, indulging in star gazing. Leave alright; leave before I can settle in you, comfortably, before you settle in my heart, mind, soul. Leave, turn around and leave. Walk away like you did tonight, walk away like you will when I strip my soul naked in front of you. Leave before, I confess, leave before I reveal. Leave before the plastic wears out, the real sinks in, leave. Leave before my desire becomes my need, go away before I become too much. Walk out on me, for that I can handle. Walk out, for that is what you will eventually do.
Leave.

the end

all along, I thought you were the only truth, turns out, you were the biggest farce of them all.
Lost.
..Lost in you, lost in your embrace, lost in your thoughts, lost to your thoughts, lost to you…

Lost in the books I have read, lost in the characters, Draupadi’s strength, Dominique’s belief, Cathy’s love, Maya’s eccentricity. Lost in melodies, the mysticism of whirling Sufis, the dhols and the tablas, the violins and the guitars. The sky, the wind, the wings, the bike. Lost in your words, lost in your smile, lost in your hands, lost in your stubble, lost in the hair. The pale pink lips pumped to red seductresses. Red laces, pink thongs;
the heart, wrenched, eroded, crumpled, re-garnished, and resurrected?
“Nothing excites me anymore.” “ you are either In ‘deep’ love or are insane; do you have suicidal thoughts?”
Find me. 

kaaga re kaaga re mori itni araj tujhse chun chun khaiyo maans
khaiyo na tu naina more, khaiyo na tu naina mohe piya ke milan ki aas..
-Nadaan Parindey Rockstar.

solitary

I lie awake. sobbing, wasted, half naked. alone. I am not sad, I am alone. very alone.

look up, look around me, look for places where I hide, there is not a single place where I can lie comfortably. Night does not hide anything, the darker it gets, the clearer the bolder the picture emerges.
Who would find me if I am lost? who would make the effort? Would I want you to make the effort? "Why" is the most important question. Why should anyone make an effort to find someone who is lost. This is hypocritical, I am talking of getting lost in full public glare, not hiding it with poetic stances, am noting it out, in prose.

I know for sure, work wont miss me. My phone will not ring even if I leave it alone for months together. The inbox is already full of spam.

Will you shed a tear and say  'she used to be some one I once knew'?

How it would feel to me and to others I see everyday if I were to be lost to the world?
I am already ain't I? 



...

A pair of lips…a pair of hands…a pair of eyes…a pair of breasts…a pair of legs…a pair…us.