patterns
indecipherable, indescribable patterns.
constant patterns.
longer wavelengths, shorter pitches
a low constant cosmic hum.
I seem to never break this bubble
pulled back below before I can touch the edges.
my insipid mind the singularity
of my black hole.
'oh my God do I try,
I try all the time'.
I do not pray though.
a revolution never comes,
I accept, bow my head and walk
keep walking,
chasing my own tail.
this dogless bone,
never loved and was never beloved.
walk, run, jog and fall
the same muddy roads.
they curve,
you can stall but not for long.
like the loop - hell loop.
there is no coherence here you can see,
it is a long winding road - re-reaching for the beginning,
something that never gets a chance to end.
Why do I self destruct before I can fire up the keyboard.
I do not even need you to touch me to break into a thousand molecules,
I am dissolving in my own organic soup,
dissolving myself in me
see how I make no sense,
looped patterned organised existence.
living in my own head,
eating and shitting and going at it all over again.
disgusted already?
welcome to the loop.
....
