And this week comes to a close.
One day can teach you many things, and I learnt through the week.
This week taught me more than I could keep pace with.
I had a panic attack (or so I
call it) which was the fallout from bad performance at work, losing people over
misunderstandings, the feeling of
inadequacy, the tally between 'what could have been- what should have been- what
is now', the volcanic eruption of everything that I had bottled up inside of me
(read as a whole lotta crap). I lived for an entire day with a nagging feeling of uneasiness coupled with a strange
fear that I am going to burst into flames any moment now, and I was literally trying to save
myself from falling (and yes not to mention the falling in a moving bus and
the conductor saving me and pointing out the seat that remained unoccupied coz
I was preoccupied, yes I was not hurt, save a non-existential scratch on the
wrist).
I was on a spree looking for ego-boosters and trying to be invisible
both at the same time.
I was saved (and no I am not being melodramatic by using this
word “saved” is the right term) by this one long chat with a friend, who
without even asking for directions showed me a better way out.
“ you know what, you are not perfect, in fact no one is, but
there is nothing wrong with it. If given a chance again to be anyone you can
be, be yourself “
"you are the person who rates yourself, prepares the performance card shows to yourself and the world."
And why am I saying this? because if you, YOU who is reading
this is feeling down or are blued out or are having a panic attack or are
making merry with friends (but then if that is the case why would you be
reading me?) and/or having a good time this is for you too. You may be special
for some one who you might not even remember, someone may be looking upto you.
someone who is a friend when you need a friend the most and just appears from the blue wants you
to be you.
Anyways this brings me to the realizations:
1. Girlfriends are EXTREMELY essential (for girls
in the strictest platonic-friendship way). Nothing equals to sharing
coffee at the beach after work at the
end of an excruciating week with an old friend who does not
bitch/complain/judge/argue/philosophize and just lets you be and is herself.
2. The ‘I-AM-ALWAYS-RIGHT’ philosophy is wrong. Don’t
practice it, don’t put up with it. Its like smoking a cigarette, suicide and
homicide in one go.
3. The stress buster: smile at total strangers. The
auto-wala, the woman struggling to get her way out of the bus, the conductor
who haggles with you for change, the woman looking at you from the mirror. Smile
and it is magic.
4. Housewives are the hardest, most-est HARDEST-est
working people in the human history, atleast my mother is. (1 month of
cooking, looking after dad, packing the dabba, taking care of the 'subah-raashan-khatm-hogaya', 'bai-nahin-aai' dilemmas I will fight with any man/woman who says that housewives
have it easy)
5. Unlearning is difficult. Don’t settle for
anything less, ever; if something is curbing your thoughts, creativity, putting
you in a box don’t settle for it. Because this causes a lot of damage. You know
your capabilities don’t let anyone make you underperform, you might not be able
to rise (/or have difficulty rising when the opportunity strikes).
that is that.
take care folks, keep smiling.
