smiles carried forward...

The day started out usual. I was late. Burnt the toasts I was supposed to have. Made less coffee than required so couldn't come around to drink it. so made a sandwich out of the burnt toasts, wrapped them in paper, shoved it in my bag, carelessly tied my hair and rushed out...waited for the lift to come up to my floor, rushed back to the flat to check if I hadn't closed the door from the outside...bhaiya was standing at the door and gave me a sheepish smile, I smiled back stupidly (he always brings out the child in me)...

Waited for the auto on the road...waited.
Waited. Period . Still waiting.
After full 10 mins of waiting under the sun I finally got an auto…

Pulled out the cold sandwich struggled with the tissues and my hair and the sandwich and the bumpy ride :(

I am currently reading the alchemy of desire ...I read the conversation the couple has on 'the herbivores’ i smiled.

The auto then struggled in the traffic and I hit my head...I cursed.

There is this eunuch I meet every day on my way to office. She commented on my black nail polish when I once denied her money. We smile at each other and i give her min change. My nails were bare today. She smiled and said I will buy u a new one. To that the auto wala smiled and we chatted on our way to the office. Our smiles were infectious..there was this guy on the road who saw us smiling and chatting and couldn't help smiling...in the terrible jam near my office the auto-wala smiled and spoke to a man on the opposite car...he smiled and replied (no idea what they spoke abt..Still struggling with kannada)...

I reached office, entered half hopping, smiling...(surprisingly I wasn't late!!!)...smiled at Shankar boss when I said good morning...

he looks at me and says 'bhavika kya baat hai itni khush kyun ho?'

i was at loss.. :)

random conversation 4: 'it's ok'

me: lolz
her: keep smiling
no nd of to be outcasted na ll
enjoy
dont think everythng too emotionally or too practlly
it ll be cmpltly messed up
me: hmm
life is a pain in the ass...and u are scrwed beacuse u think!!
....
funda
her: rte
it dpnds on u how u tk ur lfe
me: rght
her: if i want to laugh no one can stop
n if i wan to cry no one can stp
it dpnds wat i want
me: :)


(her = the first perfect aeries woman I've met)

these lines are everyday and random..but said when i needed an assurance that it is OK..reminds me of another conversation...

Joel: I can't see anything that I don't like about you.
Clementine: But you will! But you will. You know, you will think of things. And I'll get bored with you and feel trapped because that's what happens with me.
Joel: Okay.
Clementine: [pauses] Okay.

.....

"And with the morn those angel faces smile.. Which I have loved long since and lost awhile."

And now I think I have lost touch.

And now I think I haven’t seen much.

I looked for you everywhere

Have I lost you? I haven’t got a clue.

Are you still around the corner?

Oh! How that time flew.

The dark blanket covers my sky.

I stand there and gaze at the moon in sight.

The time did fly, and the night passed by,

I couldn’t get enough but couldn’t really go out and fight.

I walked through the lane,

I saw them sitting on our bench.

I wanted to tell them it was mine.

But I couldn’t; it wasn’t ours and neither was the time.

Time is the thief, notoriously oblivious to the apprehensions it carries,

I laughed and cried, and lived amongst the fairies.

But where is that place where the nun buried;

Buried, her passions, that love and those sweet cherries?

And now I think I have lost touch.

And now I think I haven’t seen much.

(quote by Newman.)

dn't forget to flush.

"Intelligence is a natural phenomenon -- just as breathing is, just as seeing is. Intelligence is the inner seeing; it is intuitive. It has nothing to do with intellect. Never confuse intellect with intelligence,"
-OSHO.

In the first reading the above line made a lot of sense like some rigorously inspiring thought.
The second reading i was a bit confused.
And by the third reading i was convinced this was nothing but crap...the skill of putting together words skillfully to makes them sound intelligent.
OK i am doing the same thing. have been doing it for a while and will continue doing it. for sure.
But why do we do it?
Life is so utterly uninspiring and boring and mundane that to add up a little spice to all the utterly non-sensible things we do...or the complete absence of any thrill in our lives we use words to beautify the most insignificant things.

Like for what is my passion i answered..."passionately pursuit of passions that I haven’t realized...passion passionately eludes me".

That was crap.

pursuit of passions that I haven’t realized???? gimme a break.

Or is it that we have become this increasingly f@#$ed up- dumb assed-couch potatoes that we don't want to actually go out and do anything. big or small. But rather sit and talk, blog or retrospect about the different ways we get screwed up every day. There was this age of drawing room politics at least it had a human touch back then. this age is the age of blog-politics. it no longer is a dialogue now has manifested into a monologue...where to from here?

A numerologist suggests Athena in the 'witch of Portobello' (-Paulo Coelho) that she take up studies like computing and engineering because that job profile doesn't involve human interactions. and engineers and computer professionals have maxed out today..is that the reason?

The song that perfectly describes and defines 'today', 'the days of our lives' (: p) is : 'ticky tacky little boxes'

All said and done more than being a way to direct our creative energies talking and discussing today has become shitting, puking, pissing thoughts. However filthy that might be. It is just human, biological and very necessary. and i continue doin it.

as a friend points out. "mujhe pata hai k kya panga hai...but panga hai"

dn't forget to flush.

random conversation 3:

me: 'main kitaab likhungi. two books. ek meri mummy pe aur ek vinobha par'

...silence..

shankar boss looks at me (away frm the monitor for a change)


shankar boss: print office se logi kya?

...laughter...

...silence....

me: ye kisi k upar kihna kyun bolte hain?? socho vinobha ke upar likhna hoga to space hi nahin hai!!

vinobha: (finally speaks) kya zarurat hai...pamplets bana kar baant do.

...laughter...

http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/the-vagabond/

random conversations 2:

shankar boss: 'jo darr gaya wo marr gaya'

vinobha : 'jo marr gaya wo bach gaya'

...silence...

bhavika : 'ye thoda ajeeb ho gaya'

random conversation:

"why did you do it? u could have said no..i hate it when you have to do things like that..you just have to say no."

"no odr option! i could have opted out. but thought its a matter of few days. why built the guilt? she left pata nahin ab wapas kab aaegi"

"how come i never think like that?"

"hehe.."