solitary

I lie awake. sobbing, wasted, half naked. alone. I am not sad, I am alone. very alone.

look up, look around me, look for places where I hide, there is not a single place where I can lie comfortably. Night does not hide anything, the darker it gets, the clearer the bolder the picture emerges.
Who would find me if I am lost? who would make the effort? Would I want you to make the effort? "Why" is the most important question. Why should anyone make an effort to find someone who is lost. This is hypocritical, I am talking of getting lost in full public glare, not hiding it with poetic stances, am noting it out, in prose.

I know for sure, work wont miss me. My phone will not ring even if I leave it alone for months together. The inbox is already full of spam.

Will you shed a tear and say  'she used to be some one I once knew'?

How it would feel to me and to others I see everyday if I were to be lost to the world?
I am already ain't I? 



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