it isn't just me:

it is 3:20 pm. am in the office. and my gtalk window has 6 people online 4 of which have the following status messages.

1.reshu1231:
  ye mood bhi badi kamini   cheez hai :-(

2.somu di: Dead again..

3.vinobha: am bored of    being bored...!

4.ruchira: TIRED!!!!

yeah and good ones are:

5.nimit.parmar: @ Work   -Every man is the architect   of his own fortune

6.ghani sir: Busy till 15th   Dec.2010 call me if u need   my services

random conversations: :)

[during an arbitrary conversation]

him: main ai ai ai...
her: aaja.


[after a few days]

him: [suddenly speaks] us din jab maine tujhe main ai ai ai kaha tha tab tujhe main j j j kehna chahie tha.
her: huh??
         hmmmm... :)

hindi ya english?

him: english main koi b baat ktni directly keh sakte hain na. say "i want to kiss you" hindi main is line ko kaise bolenge? "mujhe tumhara chumbhan lena hai"?

her: hmm.
log b to aise hi hote hain.

him:hmm.

random conversations: of sandals and scandals.

her: pata hai i broke my sandals toady. this is like 2 of them in one week.

him: hmm.

[after 30 mins or so]

her: i stapled my sandals!!!

him: i stapled my scandals.

ek purana mausam lauta :)

yeah, indolence makes you do silly things sometimes and before you realize they turn out to be very interesting.

i was bored in office (as usual) i went through all my scraps  :)

from beginning [in orkut]

yeah yeah it sounds very mundane and silly...but i had so much fun. there are scraps from 2006 from people i do not even remember and what good rapport i seem to have shared with them.

on the other hand i have other friends who have stood through thick and thin.

there are people seem to have spoken to at length who don't feature in my friend's list anymore...whom i don't remember...i have links in my scrap book which are obsolete :)

i seem to have had long discussions spanning pages but i cant seem to recall the thought that sparked them.

i have been spoken to in code languages which supposedly had made me laugh and i cannot make the head and tails of it :P

like a trip down memory lane.

i felt so good about myself..like i have found myself with others, from others.

like i have been loved all along...lived all along...like there was a past and today will pass and one day again in future when i am bored i will look at this post of mine and again reminisce my days.

this probably is what old people think when they see pictures...when parents see their children grow up.

and suddenly the homesickness disappears and is replaced with a nostalgic-content-happy me :)

and i am reminded of this gazal...

     ek puraana mausam lauTa, yaad bhari purvayi bhi
aisa to kam hi hotha hai, wo bhi ho tanhaayee bhi

yaadon ki bauchaaroN se jab palke bheegne lagti hai
kitni soundi lagthi hai tab maanjhi ki ruswaee bhi

do do shakleN dikthi haiN is behke se aayine meiN
mere saath chala aaya hai aapka ik saudayee bhi

khamoshi ka haasil bhi ik lambi si kamoshi hai
unki baath suni bhi humne, apni baat sunayi bhi

..smiling...

blahed.

when do you realize that you are desperately home-sick?

1. when you have early-morning dreams of dining out with your family (and the annoying dadi).
2. when the cause of a headache in the morning is over-sleeping.
3. when you are extremely tired after doing nothing but wasting time.
4. when you call your mother the first thing in the morning and talk to her and you have this sickening happy feeling when she smothers you.

yeah, you then know you are desperately home-sick.

random conversations:mariage!!

she: tumhara relationship status married kyun dikha raha hai orkut pe?

me:
hmm...
aren't we all married in some ways to everything around us.
marriage is negotiation and the relationship based on many things, but primarily adjustments.aren't we constantly adjusting. aren't we all married to everything around us
...
funda
:P

she: oh my god!!!!!



[she: the perfect half for a perfect gentle man i have known]

random conversations: 'windy matters'

 [scene: everyone is busy working]


vinobha: oye tu aaj dabba lekar nahin aaya?


shankar boss: nahin re

vinobha: ok . to kahan jaenge aaj?
               Ebony?

shankar boss: hmm...nahin nahin wahan bahut hawa aata hia..ud jaega.

bhavika: laughing

shankar boss: (looks at bhavika)
                      nahin sach me...mera papad ud jata hai.

bhavika: laughing uncontrollably.

shankar boss: ye ladki to hamesha hasti rehti hai...

.....5 minutes.....

shankar boss (sings): "hawa me udta jae...tera laal dupatta..."

random conversation: starters!! :P

[at breakfast]

shankar boss: tum start karo.

bhavika : nahin aap start karo.

shankar boss: tum start karo.

bhavika: aap karo na.

vinobha:  kya tum dono ko soup pilana padega kya?
starters??

shankar boss + bhavika: dialogue!!

boundless us...boundless me...

“Freedom is not worth having if it does not include the freedom to make mistakes.” -M.K.Gandhi

let's be wild.

let us get high.

half-walk, half-fall on un-named streets.

asking for directions to a place just because the name seems nice.

eating off the streets only because the vendor passed a smile.

buying stuff because the colours are bright.

are you hurt...I'd give you my shoulders to cry..

fuck the bitch and walk till the sorrow drains out.

 let us stare at every face that mocks us.

every glare rightfully, scathingly returned.
let us take the midnight bus because we do not want to go home tonight.

let us announce our arrival...

let us be the refugees who ruled the worlds.

let's be wild.

random conversation: huhh!!

her: saturdays suck.
         work sucks.
         life sucks.

me: :)

her: i m stuck in a sucking hole.

me: :)

her: huhhhh!!!!!

me: life sucks u
        u suck it back..
        get pleasure out of it.
        don't let it rape you.
        have sex with it.

her: :)

do you believe in fairies??

Peter Llewelyn Davies: This is absurd. It's just a dog.
J.M. Barrie: Just a dog? *Just*?
[ to Porthos]
J.M. Barrie: Porthos, don't listen!
[ to Peter]
J.M. Barrie: Porthos dreams of being a bear, and you want to shatter those dreams by saying he's *just* a dog? What a horrible candle-snuffing word. That's like saying, "He can't climb that mountain, he's just a man", or "That's not a diamond, it's just a rock." Just.

"Do you believe in fairies? Say quick that you believe."

"If you believe, clap your hands!" 

i believe that i would be taken up..and flown away with the winds..

i believe there will be mirth without malice...

and candies without the chagrin...

i believe there will be a sunset where i drop a

tear with a smile on my face...

content never wanting anything ever again...

i believe every decision to be taken is a two-sided coin...

both faces charting different routes to the same destination...

one to be walked..through the woods..the other to swim across the seas..

i believe i'd walk singing along the serpentine roads...making friends with the squirrel..

i believe i'd swim with a dolphin  for company..

i believe there will be you in the end..waiting...i believe you'd wait...
i believe...

:)

saw wake up sid yesternight.
it was beautiful.
i hate the histronics of ranvir kapoor.
konkana sen sharma is too bland for my tastes.

the movie is full of moments.

ones i remember are..

1. the scene where aisha drops a tear..sid for the first tiem saw her cry..she was teh rock for him and he was taken aback..was confused what to do or say.

2. when aisha is pissed that she cannot live up to kabir's expectations..or vice versa..rather blurts it out on sid who makes life perfect for her..she is pissed because it is perfect..because she has nothing to complain about.

3.when aisha walks around the city..alone..free.

4. when sid rushes out with the pan in his hand to show the girls that he fianlly made a perfect 'anda'.

5. the faith chance acquaintance brought on sid that he went to aisha's place directly for a room to stay..and she let him..life and the chance acquaintances are wierd.

6. the flat!!
the office!!
iktara!!!
iktara!!
iktara!!
the boss!!! :P

randon conversation : shit happens 2

bhavika: aap dono same age k nahin hain?

shankar boss: main tujhse 4 saal bada hun

vinobha: oye main '84 december...matlab '85..tu '80 ka hai.

shankar boss: matlab kya? tu fir b '84 ka model hai..december hua to kya..ek ghante k farak me b tu '84 ka model hia..insurance lapse nahin ho jata hai kya?

...silence...

shankar boss: chalo bhai log main chalta hun..

...silence..(he walks out)

bhavika and vinobha: i wont talk to u..

random conversations: shit happens :P

vinobha: oh wo ladki kaun hai
lia: meri friend hai.
vinobha:hmm..
lia: (looks at vinobha)
she is maried..
vinobha: to kya hua?
picture nahin dekhi kya??
darr, anjaam??
..

shankar boss: main b dekhunga..
hmmm...
vinobha:oye teri shadi hogai hai na tu kyun dekhega?
bhavika: picture nahin dekhi kya?
silsila..
kabhi alvida na kehna..
...
(laughter)
...
shankar boss: baazigar!
...
(everybody gets back to work)

random conversations: midnight pillow-talk

[TIME: 1:30 am]

[ scene unfolds: 3 people..dog tired..half asleep...watching BOMBAY(movie) ]

A: bichara bombay kya kya nahin hua is shehar ke sath soch kar bahut kharab lagta hai. bomb-blasts, riots, underworld. kitna sahega.

B: (concerned) haan...

pause..

[last scene of the movie is on..]

A: acha bhaviks tu bata ye aaj kal kaunse shehar me jakar rahega insaan. sala kahin b jao koi na koi problem hai...delhi wahan jab dekho rape hote rehta hai...har second me do rape...

B: oye zyada hogaya...

A:haan matlab 1 minute me ek rape register hota hai..

B:(less concerned) hmm..

A: ab dekh bombay me bahut baarish aaegi to doob jaega...tsunami aaya to wahan strike hua to koi bacha nahin sakta hai...is maamle me delhi safe hai..but ab wo b to eartquake belt me hai.

B: (now listening) haan...

A: aur chennai wo b tsunami aane se doob jaega...wahan baaki cheezon ka torture hai..lungi pehan kar idli dosa khila ke sab lete rahenge...language torture, khana torture, log torture....

B:(looks on)

A:(goes on)...aur ye bangalore...koi climatic problem nahin hai to yahan deposit ka wandha hai...rent ka peoblem hai..kuch b karo sala deposit...

B:hmm

A: when i become the P.M. ill keep names...blast city, rape city,torture city, deposit city...sabse ache chote shehar hain..bhubaneswar..no tension..khao pio aish..

B:(beaming at bhubaneshwar) yupz...

A:but wo shehar kahin b exist nahin karte...

B:(raised eyebrow.)

A: saala kahin b jao koi na koi aapki lene ko tayar hota hai...kahan jakar rahega insaan bolto...


[A is the better half and leo-alter-go of the 'her' the aeries woman]

PaTHos

i don't hate life.
but i am keen on getting lost.
it is difficult for me to contain.
like lashing myself...scars, the physical manifestations of the innate ugliness.
pain is excruciating...
i feel stabbed..cut, bruised; i cannot ease.
but i ain't neither, ever.
like the lead up to an orgasm where the senses are heightened but there isn't the relief of the release.
moment when one is supposed to be supremely blissful, one with the Supreme.
bliss in pain.
paradoxical like life.
pain of what i do not know.
pain why i do not know.
i am over-whelmed, surprisingly without a reason...
intoxicated, high without an ounce of weed.

bruise me.
cut me.
let the pain run down as blood.
so that you can heal me.
caress me.
and save me from drowning into oblivion.

mock me.
put me in the spot.
laugh at the jest; the universe's efficient ensemble.
so that you can look me in the eye.
and sing to me.
recite the verses of misery.

push me.
drown me.
flood me with thy philter.
so that when you look away.
and walk out.
I can allow non-satiation bring out the best in me.