1 Oct 2009


i don't hate life.
but i am keen on getting lost.
it is difficult for me to contain.
like lashing myself...scars, the physical manifestations of the innate ugliness.
pain is excruciating...
i feel stabbed..cut, bruised; i cannot ease.
but i ain't neither, ever.
like the lead up to an orgasm where the senses are heightened but there isn't the relief of the release.
moment when one is supposed to be supremely blissful, one with the Supreme.
bliss in pain.
paradoxical like life.

pain of what i do not know.
pain why i do not know.
i am over-whelmed, surprisingly without a reason...
intoxicated, high without an ounce of weed.

bruise me.
cut me.
let the pain run down as blood.
so that
you can heal me.
caress me.
and save me from drowning into oblivion.

mock me.
put me in the spot.
laugh at the jest; the universe's efficient ensemble.
so that you can look me in the eye.
and sing to me.
recite the verses of misery.

push me.
drown me.
flood me with thy philter.
so that when you look away.
and walk out.
I can allow non-satiation bring out the best in me.


  1. trust me...been there done that...DOES NOT help...feeling the pain to a satisfaction so that you can get over it...and "bliss in pain"...are you really trying to be a sadist??? seriously, don't....

    get high on life...it's much much better...better than the pain...there will be a dis-satisfaction at times...but that might only be because you've set your expectations too high...lower them, gain confidence, get them back up...but don't revel in pain...you'll destroy yourself...

    I'm kind of a phoenix in that way...pain killed me and I came back alive...dunno how!!

    Good Luck!

  2. if you feel it feel it to the fullest =)
    i am not trying to be anything...
    it gives a different high when you feel thin things in the fullest...

    imperfection adds character as i say and pathos is necessary to enjoy bliss...

    i get high on almost evrything..i enjoy evry second to the fullest...be it sloth,happiness,silence,peace or pain...

    that is the only way there is =)

  3. read as feel things to the fullest

  4. no no no....feeling things to the fullest is fine...but becoming a sadist if u don't is wrong...!

  5. *read asfeel things to the fullest