funny things one does.

slow poison gives you the kicks. 
poison in large quantities makes you throw up. (read brings you back to senses and u realise that you didnt want to die a all) 

and if you have had the right concoction then you land up in the hospital.

they don't let you die when you want to.
really, they don't.

...................

if i LOVE a song too much or/and if that song is too special i don't listen to it. that maintains the charm of the song. the effect remains and the special song remains special. 
when i like a song i listen to it too much, all the time through the day, and get over it.
(e.g. i puke now whenever i hear  'mast mast do nain' or 'bol na halke' which i assumed that i will love forever.) 

so the true winners are those songs that don't  make me go swooning over them, they stay on the playlist and i learn to love them over the time. 

there are so many ways to get over a person, over an idea, over your false walls of ego. 
this friend of mine had awesome things to say about letting go as a very important part of living, and how we should let go of things. 

when have i ever taken advice?

i have this tendency to shy away from people who like me, and take people who love me for granted. so now there are hardly any people who love me and the ones who like me think i have an attitude (which i do but  doesn't apply here, the way things work there is different,that is a different post altogether) . 
then there are people that i need all the time. i will keep calling you, keep texting you, keep dropping in till a point in time when you wont like seeing me at all! if you enjoy the attention then i'd think that there is something wrong with you since you are not reacting to the hoola i have created. (i am intelligent enough to know the consequences of what i am doing but when you are headstrong and heartstrong in equal measures you don't stop when you know you should and i never ever claimed that i know what moderation is) so after a certain point in time even they are off charts. 

now the people who still remain are the ones that don't give a damn about me being around and vice versa, i call them sparingly (read as when i am too tired of shooing away people who love me or being shooed off by people i am obsessed about) and they return the favour and we meet like long lost friends (which we technically are). so we meet, catch up then walk our own ways. 

so, there is no bloody way i am ever going to reach a consensus. 

coming back to me ranting in the middle of the night, this friend of mine who gave me a much needed lecture on letting go also mentioned that to get over sleeplessness i should set a time to sleep and sleep at that time come what may. it worked great for two days, then i thought i had conquered sleep and that i can sleep whenever i want, so i tried sleeping at 8, and now i am awake, and no i cant sleep anymore. 
told ya BAD at taking advices.

i know i will get over this phase too, watch this space, for someday i might be giving off gyaan on how to conquer sleep.

someday mate, someday for sure. 

and now i rest my case.

p.s. until then make friends with fellow insomniacs, that helps! =P

Comments

  1. And when you do, learn to conquer sleep i.e, tell me that, wouldja? Bcz I for the love of God, have not figured that one out!

    ReplyDelete
  2. so the true winners are those songs that don't make me go swooning over them, they stay on the playlist and i learn to love them over the time.
    I realised it very late!

    ... and I thought you were going to mention the 'ways' to let go...

    Liked the way you could at least compartmentalize your friends. Many of us can't!

    ReplyDelete
  3. @Pallavini di: yes fellow insomniac i sure will.

    @S: no there is no way i could reach consensus. compartmentalize, well most (read all) my friends are in that category, they don't give a damn.

    other two compartments are empty almost always, i am a heavy heart to carry =P


    and abt the song thing? we all learn that someday and then unlearning it is a lil difficult. =)

    ReplyDelete
  4. "so i tried sleeping at 8, and now i am awake, and no i cant sleep anymore"
    cant help but smile at this line...
    didz..u r great in your own ways..=P

    ReplyDelete
  5. @Lehara : bas tune hi kadar jani meri =P

    ReplyDelete
  6. I wonder sumtimes that is it true that an ample no. of the bloggers are insomniacs and vica versa ?

    Anyways Hope you conquer over your sleep really soon!

    - Fellow insomniac (see, the odd timings to confirm :P)

    ReplyDelete
  7. =D
    hehe! yes i saw that...it is heartwarming to see that i am not the only one who stays awake at nights.

    ReplyDelete

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