........blah, blah and then some more blah................. Yeah and ‘I, ME and (a lot of) MY-SELF”

1...2....3....4.....5..... [elves ringing tune]......”dhan tana tana nana....kya aap nayi...” blah blah...beep...beep...aarrgghhh!!!

Ok how embarrassing it is to keep waiting for the phone to ring and it does not.
Not waiting for any particular phone calls just any other phone call, but no, the phone does not ring.
It just stays. Ok now you scan the contact list for someone to call...hmm...1.what to talk about...2.naah out of balance...std call...3...blah...blah...aaarrgghhh!!!!
What happens when you want to talk to somebody, just about anybody and you can’t? You have people around you but you instead have your earplugs on even if there is no music playing.

This is the blank, blunt, sometimes numbing phase succeeding that phase of your life when you have lived with the phone.
Slept talking on the phone and woke up not to the sound of the alarm bell but your phone vibrating because of an impending call.
I hated it so much so that my phone was on silent/off/offline mode all the time. And today I want that to happen sometimes at least. Yeah I do want that to happen. I check my phone the last dialed call was about timed to a time 20 hours ago. Sad life.

Sleepless nights spent thinking of a single moment...”ek lat suljhane me saari raat guzari hai”...yup that feeling...today the whole night is spent thinking of something to think about...some food for thought is it?? My thoughts are starving then...

I had a yearlong writer’s block [not that I am a writer or something]. I am writing again but then I lack inspiration, I am more indiscriminate, more random, it is good in a way, but I am becoming sillier, that is food for my humour maybe.
See, my writing lacks structure.
Yesterday I was five colours in a single day, unbelievable but true, I was pink in the morning, (both literally and physically), then I was yellow as soon as I reached office, laughed so hard that my back hurt (yeah it goes the other way round here), then I was black, mood to kill, like serious kill, then I turned neutral, beige (??), then I was white with little hints of blue, the shade got deeper after some time, and then till i slept i was pissed off enough to turn grey.....
....yeah the phone stays. It just bloody stays.
........................

Okay why did i write this?
Why did i write the line above this line or this line??
Is it actually my inability to talk, maybe the writer’s(????) block was because of my never ending phone calls and my keeping shut for my own good. And the block has been taken off and the writing is flooded because i am just basically talking and like some wise ol’ lady said “talking isn’t necessarily conversing’.
So this is basically me conversing with myself.

........................

...hmmm..."tanhai ne fursat di hai"