status quo:

i have nothing to say. 

you know  you are lonely: when you have to a write blog post as if trying to initiate a pseudo conversation with yourself.

you know there is no-tuning back: when all you want to say is said by a song and you don't even want to elucidate.

loneliness is when there is no monologue. not even with yourself. 

one of those times:

Sometimes at night I stare at the ceiling

And wonder what's wrong with me

To involve myself with people

Who don't know what my true feeling might possibly be


 Who latch onto my strength like it's all they've got

It takes all of my strengths

And I go through such lengths

To show them it is not what they think they are stealing

And it's not that I hate you

I never loved you enough to hate you

To get even or mad so as not to seem sad

Just seems ungrateful

'Cause really, I am thankful I'm sad

And the only way into the sun is walking

But you'd rather run

you's rather run away.

~pure genius ~

forgive me it is only one of those times when you are falling in love with something,someone new...thinking they just read your mind...yeah i go through such phases all the time and it is normal!

i am falling in love with JAYMAY's songs!!

-------/--\--------

sometimes ALL you can do is, borrow words.

I feel so helpless now, my guitar is not around
and i'm struggling with the xylophone to make these feelins sound
and i'm remembering you singing and bringing you to life
It's raining out the window and today it looks like night

You haven't written to me in a week im wondering why that is
are you too nervous to be lovers-- friendships ruined with just one kiss kiss
I watched you very closely and i saw you look away
your eyes are either gray or blue i'm never close enough to say

But your sweatshirt says it all with the hood over your face
I can't keep staring at your mouth without wondering how it tastes
I'm with another boy (he's asleep, i'm wide awake )
and he tried to win my heart, but it's taken . . . . . time

I know the shape of your hands because i watch it when you talk
and i know the shape of your body cause i watch it when you walk
and i want to know it all but i'm giving you the lead . . . . .. . .. .
So go on, go on and take it, don't fake it, shake it

(charmin//crazy eyes have you are they gray or blue/i wont make the move/you must make the move/if you make the move/i will then approve/if you do not move/we will surely lose)

Don't second guess your feelings you were right form the start
and i notice she's your lover, but she's nowhere near your heart
This city is for strangers, like the sky is for the stars
But i think it's very dangerous if we do not take what's ours

And i'm winning you with words because i have no other way
I want to look into your face without your eyes turning away
Last night i watched you sing because a person has to try
And i walked home in the rain because a person can not lie

link to the song

i beg, borrow,steal BUT STILL just stay.

-------/--\--------

click for a great read!!

forgotten.

वक़्त क सितम कम हसीन नहीं...आज हैं यहाँ कल कहीं नहीं;

वक़्त क परे अगर तुम मिलो कहीं...

मेरी आवाज़ ही पहचान है...गर याद रहे...

i am jealous of people who can sing,dance,paint.

i can't.

sometimes there is this feeling of incompetence that any body can forget me with ease.

just like that.

i have nothing to offer, am not shrewd enough to take.

there is nothing new that i bring to the table.

there was a time when i was happy that i was the spectator, i was content;

i am not now.

the fact that someone can forget me just like that is too hard to digest.

too much to take for the inflated ego.

too much for the self-confidence.

too much for the pride.

the exact reasons maybe, which never let me act.

i wish i had something to offer...

realizations . =)

1. i am capable of love =)
 i thought i could never do it..but i can't help myself doting over the nearing-2 years old-cutie  who lives on the ground floor and yeah the 2 month old Labrador ... both love me just as much...both of them stand at the door waiting for a pat when ever i leave home =)


i am changing!

2. feelings, emotions are infectious...
i am  happy today, for a friend who finally did what he was meaning to since eternity. =)

3. when you are happy even "muqabla muqabla" makes sense =P
yeah really!!

4. yeah as i was writing this...another conversation with another friend made me realize how bad a student i was =(

no no...i am still happy =P

life

love.
men.
people.
you.
me.

why do words look so lonely?
why does the loneliness not wear itself out?

So fuck you, fuck you, fuck you
And all we've been through
I said leave it, leave it, leave it
It's nothing to you
And if you hate me, hate me, hate me
Then hate me so good that you can let me out
Let me out of this hell when you're around
Let me out, let me out,
Let me out of this hell when you're around
Let me out, let me out 

                                                              ..........................

I HATE A HOUSE FULL OF PEOPLE.

I HATE  PEOPLE TALKING IN THE MIDDLE OF A SONG I AM LISTENING TO.

I HATE BEING PINGED WHEN I AM IN NO MOOD TO TALK.

I HATE TO BE THIS.

I HATE PEOPLE WHO TRY TO BE NICE TO ME.

I HATE WHEN MY MOTHER SMOTHERS ME.

I HATE PEOPLE READING MY BLOG-POST BEFORE I HAVE POSTED IT.

I HATE BEING NEGATIVE ABOUT EVRYTHING.

I HATE HAVING TO PLEASE PEOPLE.

I HATE BEING RUDE WHEN I JUST CAN'T HELP IT.

I HATE BEING

ALL THIS SURGES ME INTO REALITY.

I HATE THE REAL.

I JUST HATE IT.

-------/--\--------

stay there! STAY.

 waqt ki kaid me zindagi hai magar,

chand ghadiya yahin hain jo azaad hain.

inko kho kar meri janejaan umr bhar na taraste raho;

aaj jaane ki zid na karo...

i think of you again.
i am out with you again.
i am back there again.
i am back to being me again.

i feel again.
i fail again.
i leave again.
i am back to being me again

haae mar jaenge,

ham to lut jaenge;

aisi baaten kia na kao.

aaj jaane ki zid na karo..

-------/--\--------

ab jab mujhko hosh nahin hai..
aae hain samjhane log;
hain kitne deewane log...