the conversation that never was -1

"So say you'll watch over me

When I'm in too deep

Tell me you'll always be

There to pull me free"

what will it be like to have someone to watch over you?

you are down he comes to you pats u and says it will be ok,

you do not listen ...

he looks at you... you start with swear words..pleading him to get away.

he dsnt..he looks at you...

you shreik...shout...go hysterical...asking him to leave.

he slaps you...

you are stunned.

you look at him.

tears in your eyes.

he hugs you, says "it will be ok"

you whisper a silent 'i love you'...

what will it be like to have some one watch over you?

-------/--\--------

"Can you do Division? Divide a loaf by a knife - what's the answer to that?" ~Lewis Carroll, Through the Looking Glass

i am not the only one with a brilliant imagination and bad maths! i have got company!! 

=D

try THIS link...must see for all Calvin N Hobbes' fans!

-------/--\--------

Just Like That

well there is  a lot of work at hand and i was planning out the details of how to make the ends meet. i was looking at the calender and it suddenly struck me that i completely forgot about the birthday of an Aries guy friend of mine, who i was completely crazy about apparently.

i remember whining and sighing about him. i remember us, me and him, spending so much time discussing so many things. i remember a particular pact between us, that of us getting married to each other if we did not find any one worthy till we turn 30. i remember him driving from one end of the city to another just to attend the annual function at my school where i was performing.
but, i forgot his birthday.

he is not in my friends list. he is not on my blogroll. i dunno if he would even read this.
i remember he was a sweetheart.
god bless. happy belated birthday!

how time passes,

how we live and leave;
how we earn friends and foes.

how we earn memories.
how we whine and sigh and kill and mull over this, today,

he we completely loose touch, how we fall apart and walk away.
how a past fight or a kiss draws a smile in equal measure,

how a past romance or a break-up is remembered with equal pleasure.

-------/--\--------

why don't you come?

sneak into my dreams...

list the endless realities...

talk to me in whispers...

talk of the surreal, of fantasies...

wish me with a sombre kiss...

sing to me a silken lullaby...

walk with me to love amiss...
 lead me to the light ahead; lets walk away leaving life by...

-------/--\--------

..

kal tha phir ek khwab dekha...

aaya hai tera paigaam dekha.

aankehn khuli to na tu, na koi khat...

labon ke tale ek bas ek nishaan dekha.

ek khidki khuli si,

dheemi khushbhu, baarish ki booden;

akele se aaine me tera aks dekha,

phir tha kal ek kwab dekha...

-------/--\--------

wild times

i was driving on a happy Sunday, singing the highway song;

 i saw an elephant tall and strong.

i thought i'd drive past. i waited. i honked.

he did not budge. he did not move. he stood. he stared.

i glared at him,

he glared back.

i showed him the finger,

he took me out of the car and threw me aside.

moral of the story 1: a finger is no match to the trunk. 

moral of the story 2:never mess with an elephant. =|

wild times...Gulzar style:

-------/--\--------

status quo:

i have nothing to say. 

you know  you are lonely: when you have to a write blog post as if trying to initiate a pseudo conversation with yourself.

you know there is no-tuning back: when all you want to say is said by a song and you don't even want to elucidate.

loneliness is when there is no monologue. not even with yourself. 

one of those times:

Sometimes at night I stare at the ceiling

And wonder what's wrong with me

To involve myself with people

Who don't know what my true feeling might possibly be


 Who latch onto my strength like it's all they've got

It takes all of my strengths

And I go through such lengths

To show them it is not what they think they are stealing

And it's not that I hate you

I never loved you enough to hate you

To get even or mad so as not to seem sad

Just seems ungrateful

'Cause really, I am thankful I'm sad

And the only way into the sun is walking

But you'd rather run

you's rather run away.

~pure genius ~

forgive me it is only one of those times when you are falling in love with something,someone new...thinking they just read your mind...yeah i go through such phases all the time and it is normal!

i am falling in love with JAYMAY's songs!!

-------/--\--------

sometimes ALL you can do is, borrow words.

I feel so helpless now, my guitar is not around
and i'm struggling with the xylophone to make these feelins sound
and i'm remembering you singing and bringing you to life
It's raining out the window and today it looks like night

You haven't written to me in a week im wondering why that is
are you too nervous to be lovers-- friendships ruined with just one kiss kiss
I watched you very closely and i saw you look away
your eyes are either gray or blue i'm never close enough to say

But your sweatshirt says it all with the hood over your face
I can't keep staring at your mouth without wondering how it tastes
I'm with another boy (he's asleep, i'm wide awake )
and he tried to win my heart, but it's taken . . . . . time

I know the shape of your hands because i watch it when you talk
and i know the shape of your body cause i watch it when you walk
and i want to know it all but i'm giving you the lead . . . . .. . .. .
So go on, go on and take it, don't fake it, shake it

(charmin//crazy eyes have you are they gray or blue/i wont make the move/you must make the move/if you make the move/i will then approve/if you do not move/we will surely lose)

Don't second guess your feelings you were right form the start
and i notice she's your lover, but she's nowhere near your heart
This city is for strangers, like the sky is for the stars
But i think it's very dangerous if we do not take what's ours

And i'm winning you with words because i have no other way
I want to look into your face without your eyes turning away
Last night i watched you sing because a person has to try
And i walked home in the rain because a person can not lie

link to the song

i beg, borrow,steal BUT STILL just stay.

-------/--\--------

click for a great read!!

forgotten.

वक़्त क सितम कम हसीन नहीं...आज हैं यहाँ कल कहीं नहीं;

वक़्त क परे अगर तुम मिलो कहीं...

मेरी आवाज़ ही पहचान है...गर याद रहे...

i am jealous of people who can sing,dance,paint.

i can't.

sometimes there is this feeling of incompetence that any body can forget me with ease.

just like that.

i have nothing to offer, am not shrewd enough to take.

there is nothing new that i bring to the table.

there was a time when i was happy that i was the spectator, i was content;

i am not now.

the fact that someone can forget me just like that is too hard to digest.

too much to take for the inflated ego.

too much for the self-confidence.

too much for the pride.

the exact reasons maybe, which never let me act.

i wish i had something to offer...

realizations . =)

1. i am capable of love =)
 i thought i could never do it..but i can't help myself doting over the nearing-2 years old-cutie  who lives on the ground floor and yeah the 2 month old Labrador ... both love me just as much...both of them stand at the door waiting for a pat when ever i leave home =)


i am changing!

2. feelings, emotions are infectious...
i am  happy today, for a friend who finally did what he was meaning to since eternity. =)

3. when you are happy even "muqabla muqabla" makes sense =P
yeah really!!

4. yeah as i was writing this...another conversation with another friend made me realize how bad a student i was =(

no no...i am still happy =P

life

love.
men.
people.
you.
me.

why do words look so lonely?
why does the loneliness not wear itself out?

So fuck you, fuck you, fuck you
And all we've been through
I said leave it, leave it, leave it
It's nothing to you
And if you hate me, hate me, hate me
Then hate me so good that you can let me out
Let me out of this hell when you're around
Let me out, let me out,
Let me out of this hell when you're around
Let me out, let me out 

                                                              ..........................

I HATE A HOUSE FULL OF PEOPLE.

I HATE  PEOPLE TALKING IN THE MIDDLE OF A SONG I AM LISTENING TO.

I HATE BEING PINGED WHEN I AM IN NO MOOD TO TALK.

I HATE TO BE THIS.

I HATE PEOPLE WHO TRY TO BE NICE TO ME.

I HATE WHEN MY MOTHER SMOTHERS ME.

I HATE PEOPLE READING MY BLOG-POST BEFORE I HAVE POSTED IT.

I HATE BEING NEGATIVE ABOUT EVRYTHING.

I HATE HAVING TO PLEASE PEOPLE.

I HATE BEING RUDE WHEN I JUST CAN'T HELP IT.

I HATE BEING

ALL THIS SURGES ME INTO REALITY.

I HATE THE REAL.

I JUST HATE IT.

-------/--\--------

stay there! STAY.

 waqt ki kaid me zindagi hai magar,

chand ghadiya yahin hain jo azaad hain.

inko kho kar meri janejaan umr bhar na taraste raho;

aaj jaane ki zid na karo...

i think of you again.
i am out with you again.
i am back there again.
i am back to being me again.

i feel again.
i fail again.
i leave again.
i am back to being me again

haae mar jaenge,

ham to lut jaenge;

aisi baaten kia na kao.

aaj jaane ki zid na karo..

-------/--\--------

ab jab mujhko hosh nahin hai..
aae hain samjhane log;
hain kitne deewane log...

couldn't help it.

simply love the new coke ad!!

the script the actors, the background track.

a befitting hindi version of the strange love ad (which again was awesome) 

of brothers!

i was looking for something that i did not find.

i made arrangements to go without it.

i found it 3 days before d-date. 

it was too late to incorporate into the work schedule but too important to leave.

i was in a fix.

scared, shit shit scared.

there are these nervous pangs which are almost unknown to me. i have given umpteen exams, umpteen vivas, i just never have nervous breakdowns, nervous pangs and that sinking feeling is something that is foreign to me. melancholy is my vice, but a cool head and confidence is my virtue.

i was shit scared.

but then 

i had a brother who looked at me and said don't worry we will work it out.

 i realized i have this particularly peculiar confidence in him that lifted that cloud.
he is younger than me but then he was like a big brother who is here only to get rid of my problems for me =)

it still was a troubled night but i knew i had someone to walk with me.

i was scared no-more.

cheers!!

p.s.:  i will still fight with him and crib about him.. =)

-------/--\--------

three

poems!! 

(ohk weirdo don't make a face)

write one, read one, dedicate one!!! 

i post my fav by Krish:

Aaj phir unke gali ki oar jaane ka man kiya,

Unke chaukhat pe nange paav khade hone ka man kiya,
Bhale hi kyun na aana pade khali haath waapis,
Aaj jholi bichaker Unse mohabbat maangne ka man kiya.
....

follow link for more.

 a classic:

She lived unknown, and few could know
When Lucy ceased to be;
But she is in her grave, and, oh,
The difference to me! 

-william wordsworth.

(read the whole poem)

and gulzar...

Tumhari Lau Ko Pakadke Jalney Ki Aarzoo Mein,
Jab Apne Hi Aap Se Lipat Ke Sulag Raha Tha.
Bata To Us Waqt Main Kahaan Tha,
Bata To Us Waqt Too Kahaan Thi.

(read more)

and i gift myself a book


-------/--\--------

two

movies. 

i plan to watch movies on the V-DAY. my top rating romances are sunrise/sunset movies. they just blow u away.

btw for people with people to go out with, movies are a great idea.

top V-DAY movies:

before sunrise 

before sunset

-------/--\--------